archaic-stranger:

dying-suffering-french-stalkers:

archaic-stranger:

archaic-stranger:

dracula daily for moby dick but it takes three years bc that’s how long they were on the pequod

y’all got so excited about 3-year moby dick that uhhh… i made it happen

I went to screencap this because uh. I feel seen,

but then had a very sensible and mature chuckle at how my phone cut off the header:

everyone this is your sign to subscribe 

thesaltofcarthage:

whetstonefires:

thetimetostrikeislater:

thetimetostrikeislater:

taken-aurally:

marlinspirkhall:

A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

It’s years before anyone explains it to him.

People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.

The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. That’s a word, it’s his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, they’re putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.

It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.

Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

There’s no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride. 

antifatemptress:

transfivehargreeves:

virotek-deactivated20210127:

UNDERRATED TAG

cryptvokeeper:

seriously i am begging an employee at Blizzard HQ to leak the hamster’s diversity stats

kirksfattitties:

transgender brunch

jimhenson-themuppetmaster:

Kermit and his frog friends.

nintengu:

edgebug:

me and the ghost of gene roddenberry while im writing fic about odo going to town on quark’s [REDACTED]

@weyounbathwater I wasn’t thinking about his penis

itsbadtobebad:

problemstheclown:

bearotonin-international:

thepossessivedaddy:

bearotonin-international:

Black bears can slam salmon with the best of them

Fun fact: it’s estimated that bears attack 2 million salmon per year. Attacks by salmon on bears are much more rare.

Definitely more rare but not unheard of

ninja-pyro-2:

crazy-brazilian:

Same energy